Provision Unexpected

God’s Provision in Uncertain Times

As I arrived back in the United States, I was back to the age old question of what now?

Again, I stick to what I know. Obedience, disciplines of the faith, and waiting for instructions.

Waiting for the shoe to drop and be evicted, God has other plans. He calls me to settle into my home making it mine. I am now living alone for the first time in decades and he wants me to settle in. To a home that I can’t pay for.

When Faith Meets Finances: Trusting God in Lack

He also tells me that the church will offer me a job. Don’t worry about the job or the pay. I am to take it. Sure enough, three months later, I was offered a job making $10 an hour on a part time basis. This definitely looks like the answer to my money problems. Did I mention that I am in my 50’s and am a single income household? Ah, but I am not the provider.

Over that year and the ones to follow, I have been the recipient of groceries, cars, money, gifts, all things I have prayed for and things I have not been smart enough to pray for. Never once was a utility behind, and I actually began digging out of debt. I sold things from my house on the marketplace, lived frugally and humbly accepted that which was provided.

Learning to Receive: A Widow’s Journey of Humble Provision

I was used to priding myself in being the giver, in being able to support myself. I was learning to accept it wherever it came from. For someone to receive the blessing of giving. Someone has to be the recipient. It seems easier. It is not.

As a widow, I have had to ask for a lot of help. It is sometimes given, forgotten or not important to those who can help. But there are those who heed the Biblical instruction to care for the widows and orphans. They are priceless in the Kingdom of God. I pray their blessings are returned tenfold. We are a special group of people - widows and widowers alike.

Hearing God’s Voice in Everyday Needs

There was a time I went to the grocery store and wanted to buy cottage cheese. I felt like I couldn’t afford the $2.69 and so walked away without it. Two or three days later, a bag of groceries was dropped off. She said, “The Lord told me to buy two of everything and bring you what I bought for myself.” Yes, there was a container of cottage cheese along with fresh produce. My God is good. My God is faithful. My God is trustworthy.

Also, located in that bag of groceries was an envelope of cash. As I discovered it, I asked The Lord what it was for, His reply: “It is what you asked for.” It was. Four days earlier, I asked for the money to pay the attorney.

Activity was happening and I needed to file “An Answer” to the court. As I googled that, you can imagine how helpful the internet was as I set out to be my own defense when I had no defense. A friend had connected me with an attorney, but he would only help me if I agreed to sell the house. I was desperate. I felt pressured and relented.

That night was the first night I did not sleep. It was now months into the process. I knew God told me I would be there. I knew He said, He would say when I moved and yet I panicked. I knew it was wrong. I had lost my peace. I could not sleep. I fasted and prayed and knew I couldn’t sell the house. I asked God for the money to pay the attorney for his work because I couldn’t agree to his terms.

When God provided that money, it was yet another confirmation that I was on the right path. I didn’t know how it would turn out, but I knew that it would be good FOR me. Giving him the cash was such a relief. My peace was back. I slept through the night thankful for a warm bed and the comfort of home. For however long it would be.

I testified to his goodness in the provision of cash and cottage cheese.

From Scarcity to Abundance: Living by Faith Alone

And then God told me I was greedy. Greedy, I thought. I don’t even have enough to be greedy. How could I possibly be greedy?

But, when the God of the universe calls you greedy, you take a listen. I wouldn’t have listened to anyone else blowing them off, but God, well that is a different story. And so I sat before him, repented of my greed and asked him to explain so I could change my habits.

You hoard all that I bring, he said. You are afraid to spend anything or treat yourself. I don’t want you to live poor. I want you to trust my provision. Buy the coffee. Get your hair cut. Treat yourself and know that I love giving you gifts.

I began a process of asking before I spent every dollar. Can I buy a coffee today? Can I buy these groceries? Can I buy this gift for someone? Trusting that His provision would cover every yes. And my obedience would cover every no.

It was truly a season of gratitude and provision. Disciplined spending and heightened conversations. Gaining confidence in our relationship. And learning what a true provider and good father he is within the boundaries that He set forth. I enjoyed my home. I enjoyed living alone. I enjoyed the amount of time I got to spend with him in this season.