Stay the Course ⛵🛤️

Learning to Be Content with Less

I would not say that I was ever wealthy. But there have definitely been times in my life where I have had plenty. This was not my current situation. Paul learned to be content with little and with much. I, too, was learning. I had no idea how little little was going to become.

I stayed the course leaning into my disciplines. Continued prayer, fasting, serving and encouragement. Desiring to remain faithful as chaos around me ensued.

Provision Comes in God’s Timing

Two weeks after returning from Israel, on August 13th, I received an unexpected check in the mail. I was able to stretch it out and paid August, September and October mortgage payments. I was grateful for God’s provision. I still didn’t understand.

You are probably wondering right now why I didn’t just sell the house. I would have, but it was not His plan. He was just beginning to awaken my trust muscle. I had lots of lessons to learn under His teaching.

A Daughter’s Grief and a Strained Relationship

I watched the enemy wreak havoc with my daughter. Just 23 when her dad died, she was shaken more than I could recognize and he wasn’t relenting. It would be six years before I would more fully understand the depth of what happened during this time.

Graduating college just weeks before her dad passed, grief hit her hard. Her friends offered little understanding in her pain and she was often overlooked. People cared for the widow but not for the young adult child. She was more lost than I had the capacity to recognize.

The enemy would step in with the lies and our relationship was on some shaky ground for the first time in our lives. It would erupt and she left. What I didn’t know is that she had already moved out in her heart. Another area to trust God. (Side note: I didn’t do this so well in the beginning. It took years and more chaos for me to fully surrender.)

Standing in Obedience Against the Odds

November 14th came around and still no mortgage payment. I don’t remember my feelings then, I am sure there were moments of peace and of uncertainty. A complete feeling of helplessness. It was all out of my control.

I feel like I had done all the right steps of obedience and yet they came squarely in opposition to worldly wisdom. Every mentor, friend and relative said sell. God spoke a different word. I had to stay obedient even if it cost me everything. I had to stand.

God’s Provision—Again

November 15th and the November mortgage payment was paid by an anonymous party. Did I dare breathe a sigh of relief? Gratitude, yes. But another was due in two weeks and the holidays were coming. Where was my peace? Where was my joy? How would I choose to walk this walk?

A Joyful Distraction and a Midnight Miracle

December rolls around and no money. On December 4th, I received a free day at Universal Studios with the girls, then two and four. They are my “non-blood granddaughters.” An incredible source of joy and healing in the grief process. A Christmas experience. Go and enjoy the day. Be present with them.

We got home late. They were spending the night so they could sleep in. I would take them to daycare in the morning when they woke. It was 10:30 pm. They were tucked in and sleeping. I just settled down in bed. And the doorbell rang.

Hesitantly, I went to answer it. Who could it be this time of night?

Someone dropping off a Christmas card. Thank you, I said. We exchanged niceties and I went back to bed. As I sat in bed, I opened the card and in it contained a check for the December mortgage.

Praise Beyond Provision

In that moment, I cried. Not because of the money but because I knew that I would praise God in the morning regardless of whether this check would have come or not. My praise was no longer contingent on his blessing. My praise was because He is worthy. He is who He is. Another lesson learned.

I paid the December mortgage in awe of His provision, not even close to fully understanding His plan.

A Word That Would Sustain

On December 6th, I am walking through the dining room, attune to His voice, when I hear a phrase that will carry me through the next sixty months. “You will move when I say whether your mortgage is paid or not.”

I had to go back to that declaration many times. It allowed me to stand in front of a judge multiple times. In front of attorneys. In front of friends. In front of family. In the mirror. I could choose to believe Him or not. I had to trust that right or wrong, he knew my heart. Either I could hear him or I couldn’t. And if I couldn’t, what good was I to the kingdom. If I could, I had to stand in obedience and belief.

A Season of Trust and Transformation

Over those next months, I traveled. I worked. I celebrated. I cried. I trusted. I held on to trust like a thread. I praised. I vented. I worshipped. I journaled. I testified. I allowed His plan in my life. It was uncomfortable. It was scary. It was inspiring. It was transforming. It was hard. It was worth it all. It was not outcome based. It was trust building. It was faith building. It was preparing me for the plans He had to prosper me.