Twenty Years, Three Years, and the Battle in Between

Summer of Celebration Series …

Celebrating the Faithfulness of God in Ordinary Places

There are anniversaries that mark time.
And then there are anniversaries that mark survival.

This summer, our friends Elias and Tanisha celebrate twenty years of marriage and three years of ministry in South Africa. Those numbers matter. But not because they simply tell us how long they have been married or how long they have lived overseas.

They matter because there was a season when neither of those milestones seemed guaranteed.

Before the Calling Was Clear

When most people hear the story of missionaries leaving for Africa, they imagine unwavering faith, clear direction, and excitement about the future. They picture people boldly stepping into God’s plan with confidence and certainty.

What they often do not see is the warfare that comes before the calling is fully revealed.

I met Tanisha in 2019, the same year we first traveled to Africa together. At the time, none of us fully understood what God was planting. We knew our hearts were being stirred. We knew something in us was awakening. But we did not yet know that God was preparing her family to leave everything familiar behind and move across the world.

Over the next couple of years, Tanisha returned to Africa several more times. Elias made one short-term trip himself. Seeds were being planted quietly beneath the surface.

At the same time, life back home was not easy.

The years of 2020 and 2021 were difficult ones for many marriages. Pressure mounted everywhere. Fear, uncertainty, exhaustion, ministry demands, parenting, finances, and emotional strain weighed heavily on families. What had once felt stable suddenly felt fragile.

For Elias and Tanisha, those years became sacred ground because they were standing in the middle of a battle they did not fully understand at the time.

The Attack Before the Assignment

There are moments now, looking back, where I can see clearly what I could only sense then.

The enemy often attacks hardest right before purpose is revealed.

Before Moses led people out of Egypt, he spent years hidden in the wilderness. Before Joseph stepped into leadership, he endured betrayal and prison. Before Jesus began public ministry, He was led into the wilderness to be tempted.

Why would we expect modern callings to look different?

Somewhere in the middle of those hard years, Elias and Tanisha found their marriage shaken.   God was refining them, teaching them to further die to self and submit to each other and ultimately to him. This is testimony. It is evidence that God rescues, restores, and protects what He calls.

During that season, I had the privilege of walking alongside them. I use the word privilege intentionally because holy moments are rarely comfortable ones.

There were hard conversations. Honest conversations. Bold conversations.

Sometimes God asks us to speak truth that would be easier to avoid. Sometimes love requires courage instead of comfort.

And to their credit, they listened.

Not perfectly. Not instantly. But humbly. Prayerfully. Intentionally.

They allowed God to expose wounds, pride, exhaustion, misunderstandings, and unhealthy patterns that could have destroyed not only their marriage, but also the generations and ministry assignment attached to it.

Because ministry is never just about the people standing on the platform.
It is about legacy.
It is about obedience.
It is about the people on the other side of your “yes.”

What South Africa Almost Missed

I think about this often now.

What would have been lost if their marriage had fallen apart?

The youth who now gather weekly for discipleship.
The relationships formed in Cape Town.
The prayers prayed over hurting people.
The meals shared.
The ministry built.
The people who now know Jesus more deeply because this family said yes.

South Africa almost missed missionaries.

Not because God failed.
Not because the calling was not real.
But because the battle before the promise was fierce.

And maybe that is the part of missionary stories we do not tell enough.

We celebrate the sending.
We celebrate the photos.
We celebrate the ministry.

But rarely do we celebrate the obedience it took to survive the season before the breakthrough.

Twenty Years Worth Celebrating

This summer, twenty years of marriage means more than longevity.

It represents forgiveness.
Perseverance.
Humility.
Repentance.
Faithfulness.
The willingness to let God rebuild what was cracking underneath the surface.

And three years in Africa means more than geography.

It represents a family who fought for what God was calling them into before they even fully understood the assignment.

Elias remains the same steady, thoughtful man he has always been — full of wisdom, though often quiet about it. Tanisha still carries the bold, outgoing personality that draws people in everywhere she goes. Together, they continue to complement one another beautifully, not because they are perfect opposites, but because God has refined them through fire.

Their story reminds us that the greatest miracles are not always dramatic moments on a stage. Sometimes the greatest miracle is simply that a marriage survived long enough to walk into its calling.

The Promise Beyond the Battle

Maybe you are in a season right now where the pressure feels unbearable. Maybe your marriage, your calling, your faith, or your family feels under attack.

Do not assume the battle means God has abandoned the promise.

Sometimes the intensity of the warfare is evidence that something significant is on the other side of obedience.

The enemy fights hardest where purpose runs deepest.

Twenty years.
Three years.
Countless moments of grace in between.

And somewhere across the ocean tonight, ministry continues because two people chose to let God heal what almost broke.