Digging In ⛏️🔥

A Heart Prepared for Transformation

My heart was ripe for transformation. God was not just pursuing me, but leading me.

As I began that year of fasting ten days a month, I had no idea what to expect. I just knew it was the right thing to do. I had entered the path where the sign said “Learn to trust Jesus here.”

Discovering the Disciplines of Faith

It was during this time that I began to more fully learn, understand and practice the disciplines of the faith. Reading my Bible. Praying. Meditating. Fasting. Worship through singing and generosity. Encouraging others. Confessing my sin. Repenting. Practicing a full-gospel life before knowing there was a term for it.

God gave me the gift of tongues, or a heavenly prayer language, and it revolutionized my prayer life. I surrendered my right to need to know what I was speaking and trusted God’s plan for my life and for my transformation.

I found a new love for worship music not just singing words but desiring deep in my heart to incorporate and welcome the words I was singing. Declaring these words out loud with a longing in my heart.

Building a Spiritual Foundation

God graciously gave me revelation as I would read the Bible sharing little secrets with me and birthing a desire in me to only want to know and understand more of him. I began creating a foundation built on the Rock that would stand the shaking that time would bring.

I learned spiritual warfare tactics praying over my home and my family. Anointing myself, my family, and my home. Welcoming the fruits of the spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. I stood in the battle against those things God hates and detests - sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Learning the power of declaration and praying aloud versus quietly asking in my head. Spiritual warfare is a battle. A war. And Holy Spirit was teaching me how to fight.

It would be a few years before I could put words to all God was teaching me and to learn the Biblical basis for such. For now, it was enough to just take a step forward and continue learning how to truly trust God and gain a right understanding of His character and His heart.

The Call to Fast 120 Days a Year

I should not have been surprised, but I was. In July, the Lord invited me to fast 120 days a year for the rest of my life. As I was feeling on top of the world that day, I was willing to consider it. By November, my excitement had waned. The prospect of not eating for basically a third of the rest of my life was suddenly not appealing to my flesh.

I love that God allows us to bring him all our true feelings. I vented, cried, shared, and poured out my heart to him. I listened to the lies of the enemy and brought them before God. Finally, my heart was settled. My mind was settled. Again, I said yes with a clearer understanding and motivation for transformation. I had made a lifelong commitment to the Lord. One to this day I have honored.

A Journey of Deep Transformation

I embarked on a journey of God’s making. One that I could not have anticipated and one that has transformed me in more ways than I account for in many books of writing. God began a season of deep transformation, humbling, and seemingly suffering. Suffering was yet to come and is an excellent teacher.

I have learned to defend myself or not defend myself to pastors, family, and friends as the Lord leads. Many don’t understand this commitment or how it can be healthy for me. But I more fully trust my God and know that He only has good FOR me.

Testifying to God's Goodness

There are many who don’t understand this commitment to fasting or how it can be healthy for me. “Why would God call me to this?” they ask. It has opened up an opportunity to testify to God’s goodness with family, friends and pastors.

Fasting for Obedience vs. Fasting for Purpose

I have learned the difference between fasting for purpose and obedience. There are many who will fast for purpose and there are times when I do that as well. I need an answer to a question, guidance in an area, or wisdom in a situation. I have experienced the fruit of this fast. Fasting quiets the world and draws me to God allowing me to hear what He wants to say or more importantly what I need to hear.

However, with my life long commitment, I fast as the Lord leads; trusting that He will reveal now or later what He wants to do or say. It is in this space that I trust or allow God to fully lead me simply saying yes each time with no human understanding. The track record of his faithfulness has consistently left me in awe. It is a relationship of trust (I say yes) and his sovereignty (he sees all) that has allowed me to react to an unexpected situation in a way that is more Jesus and less Jacki. As a Christ follower, what more could anyone ask for?

A Lifestyle of Surrender

I have added to the food element, television, media and anything else that distracts me. I fully allow Him to guide me in what to fast, when to fast and for how long even if it means I have cole slaw for breakfast. He has sustained me through it all. It is not easy. I don’t always do it with joy. Sometimes I toddler my way through it and just get it done. But I know he honors my efforts.

I have fasted everything from a meal, to a day, to three or ten or twenty one, to thirty-two and forty and even ninety days. I have missed meals during birthday parties, weddings, vacations and holidays.

I have fasted in every country I have been called to. My Jesus sustains me through it all and I am blessed because of it. I am changed in the midst of it. I am grateful for his call on my life.

An Invitation to Join the Journey

It has been more than a decade now that I have fasted for 120 days a year, inviting others to participate, or quietly being obedient to my calling.

I share all of this to invite and encourage. I love food. I love sweets. I love coffee. If I can do this, so can you.

Don’t decide yet - Read the rest of my testimony and see what God does.