A Journey of Faith ✨

The Challenge

It is January, 2025 and I am sitting on a zoom call talking with a web designer.  He asked me a simple question.

Can you blog about what God has done in your life?

What God has done in my life, thinking I could write books, not blogs.  For how long? I asked.

“A year,” he replied.  

A year.  That’s easy, I thought..  It’s been quite a year.  

As I opened up my computer, I realized that a year doesn’t give way to the true calling and preparation God has been walking me through and the many ways that He has provided, cared for, and held me along the way.  If I was going to share my story, I needed to go back way further than a year or even a decade.

The Prayer

With a pile of journals, I can recall many details long forgotten and reconsider those remembered.  But what matters?  What is important?  What is needed for now?  How do I share my heart and honor God?

I pray, Lord, please guide me.  Let the word of my testimony honor you, inspire others, encourage others, and humble me as I am reminded of your faithfulness in my life.  

As I sit, I pray the words written here are the same as if we were sitting across from each other enjoying a latte or maybe your drink of preference.  Ask the Holy Spirit now to allow you to read the words with fresh eyes.  To see what He wants you to see.  To hear what He wants you to hear.  Let my testimony encourage and inspire your spirit.  

My Story

As a young girl, I accepted Jesus into my heart, but with no discipleship or guidance the world was largely unaware of any change in me.  And if I am being honest, I had more frustration than heart change.  There was little heart transformation and little circumstance change.  While I know now that circumstance change is not a good indicator, I did not know it then.  I wanted to finally be happy.  I would spend a lot of years chasing that elusive happiness. 

I have heard of those people who had this instant redemption and transformation.  Their lives were never the same and they never looked back.  That was not my story.

I have heard of those who can tell you “I gave my life to the Lord at 2:30 am on January 1st, 19 whatever in my grandmother’s basement.”  That too, was not my story.

Mine is more of a story of a ‘good’ girl who never really got into much trouble but who just couldn’t wrap her arms around the love of a heavenly father.  My earthly father died when I was just eleven and it would take decades before realizing the spiritual impact on that little girl and how her choices have so drastically affected the outcome of my life.  

 I wanted to believe.  Believe in God.  Believe in His promises.  But I could only see them for others and never for myself.  I listened to the lies of the enemy way more than I did the truth of God.  I let people’s opinions affect me more than God’s opinions.  

I was a people pleaser.  I thought if I could earn your love, do enough for you, be helpful, and contribute that you would love me.   I have learned that that too, was not the answer.  My heart would take hit after hit and I was clueless as to the real problem.  

In my 20’s and 30’s, I lived in the world.  Got married, bought a house, had a child, made lots of money and spent lots of money.  I was looking for happiness as the American culture, my family, and my church had taught me to do.  Of course, there were pockets of happiness, but the joy that the Bible speaks of, “joy that passes all understanding”, that I had no clue of.  I was on the hamster wheel of life.

When we relocated 1000 miles away from home, away from our business, family and friends, I began a new era of searching for something to fill the hole that was in my heart.  I know now that only God could fill it.  I searched.  I prayed only as I knew how then.  I attended church but it was more social than spiritual.  I desired that God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, anybody would speak to me.  Sometimes I felt like it could be him, but I had no confidence.  I was still trying to earn my way into heaven instead of just accepting the free gift he was offering.

In a small group bible study being held at my home, the leader asked this question.  “Do you have a testimony?”  As I reflected, I answered no.  A testimony means someone has died, you have had cancer, or some horrific other circumstance.  Not only did I not have one, I wasn’t sure that I wanted one.  A testimony came at a cost.

I was wrong and right.  I did want one.  And it did come at a cost.

My Mission Today

Now, I can emphatically say that I have a testimony.  The only question now is “Lord, which one do you want me to share in this moment for this person?”   

I am positive that the Lord has continuously had his eye and his hand on me.  But it would be decades later before I would fully surrender to his plan for my life.  I am grateful for his relentless pursuit of me and his unconditional love for me.  I am grateful for the ways he has humbled me, freed me, and exalted me all within his timing.

I invite you to follow along as I reminisce on the path that God took me down.  I hope you can learn something, be inspired, or just share in the glory of what  God has done.  This path will eventually lead me to this moment, this blog, this website, this purpose.  

May all glory belong to Him.