The Next Step

Emerging from a Spiritual Earthquake: Finding Renewal in Prayer and Fasting

As I began to emerge from my spiritual earthquake, I could feel myself returning to normal.  As the weeks poured on, corporate prayer and fasting continued.  The younger generation became more prevalent, hungry to learn from those who have followed the Lord for longer.  It was a beautiful play being written.  Every person young and old had the privilege to minister to and pray for others.  A particular ten year old was faithful in her attendance.  Faithful in her prayer.  And honestly could minister to others differently than adults.

Mentoring the Next Generation in Faith

Not only did I have the younger generation at the prayer meeting, but I had my non-blood granddaughters.  Two little ones who were instrumental in bringing joy in the midst of grief and who had become so dear to my heart.  We would spend as much time together as our schedules would allow from the time they were babies.  Spending the night, reading the Bible, praying, riding bikes, playing in the park, learning to cook.  From high chair to elementary school, they have a special place in my heart.

Their family attended church, but I wanted them to know the true power of Jesus.  They have heard me pray and sing in the spirit, watched me fast, heard the voice of the Lord.  They have prayed for their friends at school.   We have read the Bible together and I have listened to their insight and their questions.  I have learned so much from them.  Apparently, I have much to teach them too.

Called to Write: Hearing God’s Instruction and Obeying His Timing

I had known for many years that I was “called” to write a book.  A promise, if you will, that God spoke to me.  In the years following, it would be more than one.  And this season, further instructions as to how to write it.  Deep in theology, meat as we Christians know it.  But, it must be easy to read.  It should be for everyone.

More instructions, but when and how.  I had sat with a computer open and gotten absolutely nowhere.  A promise for another day.  A promise fulfilled in his timing.

Steadfast in the disciplines.  Prayer, Fasting, Encouragement, Bible Reading, Repentance.  Learning that Repentance is actually a powerful discipline that is so needed.  Repenting of the sin & lies.  Repenting for myself, my family, my church and my country.

Rest and Revelation: When God Speaks at the Beach

I had just completed a thirty day fast when I was gifted an eight day stay at the beach.  While I don’t love the beach (or maybe just the sand), I was crazy not to take advantage of such an offer, especially during the week of the Fourth of July holiday.

As the fast was ending, I kept hearing and seeing “Rest” everywhere.  So it seemed a no-brainer as I packed my car and drove the three hours to the condo at the beach.

By this time, I had completed many fasts and thought I knew how God worked.  As I completed the long drive, I was a bit skeptical wondering what God was really up to.  I just completed a long fast.  Now, you are taking me away to be alone and quiet.  What shoe is about to drop?  What are you about to tell me?  I had a sense it would be hard and probably not something I would like.

I arrived, bought some groceries, and unpacked.  I prayed.  Rest, he said.  I prayed.  Rest, he said.  I prayed.  Rest, he said.  I am still skeptical and waiting.  How naive I was?  I forgot about God’s compassion, love and nature.  He gives good gifts to his children.

I went to the beach early the fourth morning.  Walking up and down, watching the runners, the sunrise, and the tourists.  It was there where I found myself sitting down to rest and pray.  And then, during a time of sitting in the sand resting and watching the incredible view that only God could create.  Rest and Write, he said.  What?  Rest and Write.

I knew instantly what he was referring to more confident that I could hear him speak than in my ability to actually write.

I soon found myself back at the condo, with my computer open and words pouring out on the screen.  Over the next five days I wrote a first draft of a book that I now know will probably never be printed.  But then, I didn’t know that.  I was so excited.  He helped me with every chapter.  I was a stenographer just writing what he told me.

I spent months editing, over-writing, re-writing and learning the process of publishing.  Then, the editor asked me some questions.  Asked me for more meat.  More theology.  More more more.

After six months, it all seemed overwhelming.  I had prayed.  I had fasted.  I had tried different writers’ suggestions.  And after all that - nothing.  I was blocked and unable to move forward.

It was His book.  He could finish it, publish it, or not.  I wouldn’t push it.  And it sat on the shelf for fifteen months.

Healing Through Writing and Repentance

It was during that writing and editing process that I learned much about myself.  As the words scrolled across the page, I found myself writing about my life old and new, lies I believed as truth as well as truth itself.  These words helped me come face to face with pain, grief, and memories from long ago.  It forced me and allowed me to look at the past with fresh eyes and with a new perspective, the one I carry now that includes the love of Jesus.  I re-evaluated my actions, actions of others, and my responses.

Much forgiveness, repentance and healing filled the atmosphere as well as tears of joy and tears of sorrow.  Tears of compassion and tears of that long forgotten.

All was building a deeper foundation for me and the places God wanted to take me.

While I can rarely, if ever, see a finished product, I can just keep taking the next step in front of me trusting the one who guides me.  Today, grateful for the healing that only He could ordain or know that I need.